


Rubatosis

by tobler0ne



Category: GOT7
Genre: (only briefly mentioned tho), Bartender Jinyoung, M/M, Multi, Past Im jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang, high fluff low angst, praise kink if you squint hArD, there will be sex be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 17:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20049901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobler0ne/pseuds/tobler0ne
Summary: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat, whose tenuous muscular throbbing feels less like a metronome rather than a nervous ditty its tapping itself along to. The kind that people compulsively hum or sing while walking in complete darkness, as if to casually remind the outside world, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here." Jinyoung reads and rereads the words in the book, trying to convince himself Jackson isn't the first person who pops into his mind.Re-post from Live journal.





	Rubatosis

**Author's Note:**

> So i had first written this in like 2017 for a fic fest so this is simply a re-post since i no longer use livejournal at all? also i have since lost the original prompt. This was and still is the first and only work i have written for the got7 fandom but i hope to be writing more from now on.

___________________________

  
Jinyoung believes that love, like every other fundamental thing in life such as getting a good job, having a well kept home and great friends is something one can attain by simply following the proper steps required.  
  
These steps are what Jinyoung has gathered throughout his 22 years of life while watching others go through relationships. He’s watched his best friends flirt, watched the way his parents interact, heard stories of how great relationships begin and how devastatingly they fall apart. But most important of all, he’s watched movies and read books. Hundreds and thousands of times.  
  
Enough to fill up an entire list of date ideas he’s kept hidden somewhere at the back of his mind. The steps go like this. Look presentable. Jinyoung prides himself in always having that one down. He stares at himself in the employees changing room mirror at the back of the bar where he works and slides a smooth hand down the front of his black button down shirt.  
  
Step two is to treat your partner with respect. Jinyoung is a great listener; Mark always gives him compliments about this. He can listen to Bambam drawl on endlessly about the cute girls he sees in his classes at university without complaint. He lets Mark drag him onto his bed after a horrible breakup and whine to him about how much he misses her already. And beyond all else he’s got the highest patience threshold out of the people he knows.  
  
Step three is to have good communication. Jinyoung could groan every time he reads a book or watches a movie where the main couple have fights over stupid misunderstandings. Jinyoung has no problems whatsoever speaking his mind. Youngjae sometimes tells him he’s too honest.  
  
Step four is to never, ever if he can help it fall in love with someone who is frivolous.

  
  
~

  
The main fault that resides in Jinyoung’s list is that to follow it he has to actually have someone he likes and is dating. Working at a bar means that he’s asleep well into the day, which puts a big damper on his dating life. He’s also prone to dodging the blind dates Mark or Bambam set up for him. He lies and says it's because he’s busy, or that he’s not actually looking for anyone at the moment. But in truth Jinyoung is just scared.  
  
He’s scared that once he shows up at this date his high as hell expectation will turn whoever is joining him for the night into someone unworthy no matter what kind of person they are. Or that as the other person looks at him and settles upon his stature they will decide Jinyoung is simply not good enough for _them_ as well.  
  
It tears him apart at night thinking about it. About not being able to find anyone he can fall in love with. He wants someone who can stare at him and not find his flaws where he tries to cover them up with practiced ease. But it’s hard when he can’t bring himself to take the first step even when he’s presented with an opportunity.  
  
Youngjae tells him he’s being too dramatic, that he’ll find someone perfect just for him as long as he keeps himself open to the option. Jinyoung tries to convince himself that Youngjae’s right and that he’s just overthinking but he still has trouble sleeping at night.

~

  
  
The glass in Jinyoung’s hand shines as he spins it around his palm. He brings up a clean towel from the other side of the counter to wipe it dry. His nails are cut short, no dirt beneath them with a shiny coat of clear polish on top. He sets the martini glass down in front of the waiting customer. The pretty girl smiles at him as he starts to shake the liqueur with some ice before pouring it into her glass. He tops it with three small apple slices that sit on the rim of the glass.  
  
“Thank you” She says before leaving the bar to head back to her group of friends.  
  
Jinyoung lets his lips turn up at the corners before he wipes the fallen grains of coarse sea salt off the counter. He turns to look at the rows of expensive alcohol lined along the walls before thinking about how they’ve run out of Turbinado sugar again. Although Jinyoung usually prefers to use salt, a lot of customers like the subtle taste of the sweet brown sugar.  
  
“Can I get a frozen mudslide?” A thick voice calls out from behind Jinyoung, snapping him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t realized anyone else had come up to the bar.  
  
He turns to find brown almond shaped eyes shining at him. Jinyoung is tilted off kilter by the shy smile on the man’s face for a moment before giving a stiff nod. He mixes Bailey’s Irish cream Liqueur, Kahlua Liqueur, vodka, heavy cream and a giant scoop of chocolate Haagen-Dazs ice cream with some ice in a blender. He can feel the customer’s eyes on him as he prepares the drink and for some reason a small bubble of heat starts boiling at the pit of his stomach.  
  
He’s used to this type of attention, eyes are on him all the time whenever he prepares drinks whether people are awed or waiting in patience for their order. So he’s not quite sure why this particular man has him feeling hot beneath his collar with a single curious gaze. Maybe it’s the fact that this overgrown child has just basically ordered a milkshake with alcohol in it.  
  
Jinyoung takes out a chilled parfait glass and then pours in the thick brown mixture. He slides it over the counter to the expectant customer but halts him as he reaches for the drink. Jinyoung smiles as he sprinkles a few peppermint flakes on top of the small milkshake and drizzles chocolate syrup all around the edges of the glass. “Enjoy,” there’s the smallest amount of patronization in the lilt of Jinyoung’s voice but the customer simply smiles wider at him and sips his drink from the cute bendy straw.  
  
“Wow, this is really good!” Jinyoung was just turning away when he heard the astonished remark; he turns just in time to lock eyes with the customer. The man’s thick voice is almost comical as he gasps and compliments Jinyoung on how well he made the drink. Jinyoung can’t help but blush at the unexpected outburst. It’s not that he doesn’t get complimented often on how well he mixes drinks but never this enthusiastically.  
  
“Does this mean I can expect a spectacular tip?” Jinyoung sharpens one of his trademark smirks, eyes drawing up and down the customer’s expensive looking black suit.  
  
The brunette spins the cold drink between his hands while giving a contemplative hum, “I don’t think you’ve quite earned yourself more than the required 15%. Would you disagree?” He tilts his head with an innocent smile. His eyes glitter with a silent challenge and Jinyoung would be damned if he didn’t take it.  
  
“Well how could I persuade you otherwise?” Jinyoung’s eyes twitch when the customer goes back to twirling his drink between his fingers as he thinks. He rests his crossed arms on the counter and leans on them enough to be at eye level with the customer.  
  
“Keep me company?”  
  
Jinyoung is so surprised the smirk on his face slips, his eyes growing large and round as the customer only becomes further amused. “You see, I’ve just recently moved back to the country and the only friend I really have is an old college buddy of mine.” The customer continues once he sees that Jinyoung is too stupefied to respond. He takes a long sip from his chocolate covered drink and makes an obnoxious slurping noise while doing so. He eyes Jinyoung the whole time too.  
  
That bastard, Jinyoung thinks as his teeth grind together. His mischievous smile is pulled right back in place as he looks the customer dead on, hands stretched on the counter palms faced down as he ponders how to respond. The customer's biceps stretch the fitted wool sleeves on his suit and his hands are riddled with veins and small scars. Jinyoung would wager this man is a health nut, even an athlete if he were a betting man. So he leans forward once more, close enough to see the customer’s eyelashes shine beneath the strange red lighting of the neon sign above the bar and says, “Did you know that what you’re drinking right now has close to 800 calories? It’s nicknamed a very tasty suicide”  
  
The man sputters, eyes casting down towards the cool refreshment in betrayal as he squawks. “What?! That’s like an entire hour of squats, how is that fair?” The customer looks up at Jinyoung as if he has the answer; his eyes pleading for Jinyoung to say it isn’t true.  
  
All Jinyoung can do though is laugh. He brings up one hand to hide his bright smile behind it as his eyes crease around the corners. His shoulders shake in silent mirth as he thinks about how the man in front of him can so easily slip from his flirtatious demeanour into a childlike innocence. There’s also a tiny victory that gives him the added bonus since Jinyoung managed to hit him where it hurts. Call it petty, but he’s not a losing man.  
  
“What’s your name anyway?” Jinyoung manages to say after he calms down, eyes still puckered and joy apparent in the blush that dusts his cheekbones from how hard he’d been laughing.  
  
This seems to distract the customer from the previous topic, almost making him vibrate in his chair. “Wang Jackson,” He pauses, lips crooked as he looks at Jinyoung from beneath his lashes “Or J-Flawless depending on whom you’re asking”  
  
Jinyoung can’t believe his ears, the audacity. “And who would I have to ask to get the story behind a nickname like that?”  
  
“Probably my ex” Jackson chuckles, his thumb pushing at the ring he has on his pointer finger until it rotates. Jinyoung stares at the small quirk, he notices Jackson’s nails too. A little chewed up and short, like he’d been biting them away while stressed.  
  
“You’re that good huh?” Jinyoung asks, continuing the conversation and settling into that one spot on the counter against his better judgement. He feels his muscles relaxing as Jackson continues to make him laugh and laugh over the next hour. Other customers come and go however Jinyoung finds himself continuously pulled back to that one spot, in front of Jackson.  
  
He doesn’t end up leaving until last call, winking at Jinyoung with his plump lips pulled thin over a bright smile.

~

  
  
Jinyoung is reading, a small pout on his face as his eyes scan the page of the paperback. It’s a Monday so the bar is pretty empty, only the scarce diligent drunk dropping by around the later hours. But it’s still early in the afternoon so Jinyoung gives himself a few hours of therapeutic reading. He flips the page, somewhat bothered by the red light that is cast upon it from above the bar but not enough to do anything about it.  
  
The weather outside is getting colder day by day; he’s starting to think he needs to pull out his knit scarf. The change of season brings with it winds that have Jinyoung’s eyes irritated, his contacts always drying up. He keeps forgetting to bring his moisturizing eye drops along with him but Mark had been smart enough to slip them into his coat pocket this morning.  
  
He blinks, flips to the next page.  
  
“Working hard or hardly working?” A baritone voice stage whispers across from him. It’s not technically Jinyoung’s break yet, however since the bar had been so barren he had left the counter and settled into one of the high tables near the dance floor. There was smooth Jazz playing out over the speakers since the DJ only gets called in for weekend shifts when they are the busiest. It’s a relaxing background noise to Jinyoung’s imagination.  
  
He looks up from the off-white paper riddled with black ink to find Jackson’s face an inch from his own. “What are you reading? Is it any good?” He leans even closer and tucks his chin to his chest as if that would allow him to catch a few words upside down and judge the quality of the book in Jinyoung’s hands.  
  
He startles the bartender so much that Jinyoung pulls his book against his chest and draws back with a wide look in his eyes. “Do you not value personal space?” He spits out without thinking about it. He’s still working right now; his manager would be so disappointed. Not to mention that she would have Jinyoung’s head for slacking off during his shift even if it was pretty much dead.  
  
Jackson sits back down onto his chair, abdomen no longer halfway across the table with a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry,” he mumbles with a shy smile, hands on top of one another on the table. Jinyoung uses the added free space between them to take a deep breath in and relax. He looks over Jackson’s nervous face, and then sets his eyes on the casual fluffy sweater he’s got on.  
  
He does a double take at the soft cotton that is so different compared to the charcoal black suit the other had worn the last time Jinyoung had seen him. But what really catches his eye is the word embroidered on the sleeves of the hoodie. He wonders what type of person likes to brand their own last name into their clothes.  
  
“Have you had lunch yet?” Jackson asks while bowing his head to cut off Jinyoung’s line of sight. The only thing the bartender could now see was the impeccable pink of Jackson’s lips.  
  
“Not yet. If you’re hungry I can ask the kitchen to whip something up for you” Jinyoung points his thumb to the small western styled saloon doors by the bar that lead into the kitchen. “Our chef here is actually my mentor, she was the bartender here when I started working but she’s an even better cook so…” All it takes is one look at Jackson’s blinding smile for Jinyoung to stop talking.  
  
“I kind of wanted to take you out to eat but when you sell it like that, how can I not try the food here?” Jackson turns away from Jinyoung to look around the bar before he’s asking if they even have a menu.  
  
“It’s kind of an old secret, only people who have been coming here since it started up know what’s on the menu,” Jinyoung can’t help but laugh at Jackson’s bewildered face.  
  
“Isn’t that counterproductive? How will people order? How will you increase your revenue? I didn’t even know this place sold food!” Jackson has a genuinely concerned face on as he reaches across the table and rests his hand on Jinyoung’s.  
  
It’s sort of uncomfortable simply because Jinyoung can’t recall the last time someone he wasn’t very close to instigated physical contact with him. He’s not sure how much he dislikes it considering it’s got him blushing but it’s enough for him to pull his hand away. He retreats his fingers off the table and covers them with his sleeve, trying not to make eye contact with Jackson.  
  
He brings over a hefty burger combo and pretends he doesn’t see the way Jackson continues giving him cautious smiles every few bites.

~

  
  
It’s a Friday night in the dead of winter with inches of snow piling up outside yet the bar is packed. Jinyoung is working double his usual speed, sometimes spilling tiny drops of alcohol on the counter in his haste to slide an order over. Mark is even helping him out tonight behind the counter instead of hiding out in the backroom doing their receipts. Apparently the DJ for the night had been gaining lots of popularity recently so a lot of his fans filled up the bar.  
  
He’s so busy that he doesn’t notice Jackson until the main DJ takes over the set list and people file onto the dance floor instead of crowding the bar. Except Jackson’s not alone when he pulls Jinyoung over with a warm hand wrapped around his wrist. “This is Jaebum and Yugyeom, you can say they are your resident fuckboys” Jackson gets a punch to the arm for his wise quip while the tallest of the three just bursts out in a loud laugh.  
  
“Right, well what can I get for you guys?” Jinyoung settles closer across the counter so that he can hear them better over the music. Jackson pouts his lips as if he’s actually deliberating when Jinyoung knows he’s just going to order another mudslide. The person he introduced as Jaebum seems like the type who enjoys his drinks colourful with umbrellas decorating them. The last of the three Yugyeom is someone Jinyoung guesses is like himself, a neat whiskey maybe on the rocks since he’s still young. Although he's also the one who keeps raising his eyebrows at Jinyoung and then throwing looks over at Jackson as if trying to insinuate something, which is frankly kind of weird.  
  
“I’ll have a piña colada,” Jaebum says with confidence as if he’s not the type that boasts about being the manliest of men on his nights out with the boys. Yugyeom asks for a beer, throwing Jinyoung off his game. He spares a glance at Jackson but he’s still pouting his lips and looking around in thought so Jinyoung just sighs and sets himself on the path of making that mudslide.  
  
His shift was supposed to be over earlier tonight since Mark had offered to cover for him but since the place got so packed he’s no longer sure he can just leave. He hurries to finish Jaebum and Yugyeom’s drinks because Jackson’s mudslide takes forever to blend. People have started dancing together on the dance floor even though it isn’t that large of a space considering it was never made for this big a crowd.  
  
Jinyoung isn’t sure what makes his head keep turning to check on Jackson but their eyes meet several times while he’s getting their drinks ready. It has a steady heat rising beneath his collar, trying to convince himself it’s from all the running around and not the adorable way Jackson smiles at him.  
  
He’s just scooping some ice cream into Jackson’s drink when Mark nudges him with an elbow. “Isn’t that the kid you’ve been crushing on since two weeks ago?” He follows Mark’s line of sight to where Jackson’s half draped across Jaebum’s back, half whispering in his ear. Jinyoung looks back down to his task at hand, brushing Mark off with a shrug “Who said anything about a crush?”  
  
“You may not have said anything but it’s practically written on your forehead,” Mark slaps his butt and goes back to washing the used glasses. Jinyoung tries to send a glare his way but his back’s already turned.  
  
Against his better judgement he chances a glance back at Jackson and this time he’s chatting up a complete stranger sitting beside Yugyeom. Jinyoung sighs before shaking his head and moving the drinks over to the three awaiting men. He’s not quite sure why this is rubbing him the wrong way. Ever since he met Jackson he could tell the man was friendly and easy to get along with.  
  
Maybe he had thought that he was special in the way that Jackson seemed to be almost more affectionate towards him? Maybe the fact that he was wrong about that was what was so jarring about the whole situation. The fact that he might not have been anything unique in Jackson’s eyes, only another friend to add onto his long list of acquaintances is what was so upsetting.  
  
“Hey Jinyoung, this girl here says she’s a bartender too” Jackson slurps at the bendy straw Jinyoung knew to add for him because of how much his eyes lit up the first time. Then he makes a show of popping off after a satisfying drink only to give Jinyoung a big high five. “If these didn’t make me fat I’d be here everyday, you’re so good Jinyoungie”  
  
Jinyoung isn’t sure whether to be upset at the change of his name or flattered at the compliment. He just snorts out a laugh, his hand coming up to hide his mouth when he hears the amused noise Jackson made at seeing Jinyoung’s eyes crease at the edges.  
  
“I can make you one later if you want,” the person who was sitting beside Yugyeom butts in. She smiles at Jackson like he could give her the world; it unsettles Jinyoung’s stomach. It’s obvious that she seems to be after one thing only and she’s set her eyes on Jackson determined to get it.  
  
“Then I guess I have no choice but to take you home and get you to teach me how to make one of these huh?” Jackson says, leaning over Yugyeom just so he can wink at her. Jinyoung almost wants to laugh at how cheesy it is but he only rolls his eyes and heads over to Mark to help him out. Jackson’s a grown man and he doesn’t seem stupid. If he wants to get involved in that type of lifestyle it isn’t any of Jinyoung’s business.  
  
“So you’re just gonna back down?” Mark huffs when their shoulders bump, drying the glasses and setting them aside.  
  
“I was never in the race, It’s not my place” Jinyoung takes a look at his nails and decides he needs to trim them in a few days.  
  
“Well, when you regret this decision I’ll be a good friend and tell you that I told you so” Jinyoung looks down at Mark’s smile and tsks.  
  
“Stop judging my life” He doesn’t look back over to Jackson’s side of the counter but notices when he leaves, the pretty bartender girl still on his arm.  
  


~

  
  
It continues for a few weeks longer, the weird feelings festering inside Jinyoung’s chest every time he sees Jackson. They talk throughout the week when Jackson drops by to have lunch at the bar or to drag Jinyoung out during his breaks for a small date. Jinyoung finds out that Jackson is actually Chinese, that he has come from overseas to help the national fencing team prepare for the next Olympics. He learns that although Jackson is hilarious without trying to be, he makes jokes at the expense of himself often too.  
  
Jinyoung laughs along but then makes sure to compliment Jackson afterwards. He can see that there’s something deeper inside that makes Jackson’s eyes seem a little sad when he talks about his own looks, a little insecure.  
  
Jackson finds out that even though Jinyoung isn’t all that comfortable with physical intimacy as long as Jackson offers his hand and lets Jinyoung make the advancements, he’s more than glad to. He tries to set a slow pace, inching his way closer to Jinyoung day by day.  
  
Jinyoung also learns that although going out with Jackson almost every day has him smiling more often, he’s beginning to develop more than friendly feelings for the energetic man. It’s a tragedy; he’s already unable to fulfill one of his steps for having a successful love by falling for someone so promiscuous. He’s not sure how to handle that type of revelation other than to whine and panic about it to Mark. All he gets in return is a sly smile from his best friend who tells him to just ask Jackson for a proper date.  
  
Which is preposterous. Jinyoung can’t just ask for a date. Not when Jackson comes to the bar during the weekends with all his friends and ends up going home with pretty boys and girls alike. Jinyoung tries not to be petty about it but no matter how hard he tries to think, he’s much more attractive than all the people Jackson keeps taking home. So he remains uncertain as to what Jackson’s intentions are with him.  
  
It’s clear that Jackson is touchy with even his closest friends since he’s a tactile person by nature but Jinyoung doesn’t believe it’s just his wishful thinking that makes the way Jackson looks at him feel different. Even the way that this weird sort of tension surrounds them whenever they are alone or when they make eye contact is enough to make Jinyoung think there is something there.  
  
Surely Jackson feels it too, Jinyoung thinks.  
  


~

  
  
Jinyoung frets about it constantly without taking any action. Unable to follow one step of his plan is not ideal however still manageable, but now two steps?? Jinyoung is not pleased at all. He couldn’t understand for the life of him why his tongue suddenly becomes tied when he thinks of bringing up the subject of dating to Jackson. He tells Bambam and Youngjae about his crush as well only to get a sympathetic look and a detailed seduction plan for his troubles. Bambam seems to be certain that Jackson has a thing for Jinyoung too after he camped out at the bar for a few days to spy on them.  
  
“It’s obvious,” Bambam pats Jinyoung’s head, as if he isn’t the shorter one. “He had hearts in his eyes the whole time you were making drinks for people. What more proof do you want?”  
  
“Are you sure you could even see anything behind your Gucci sunglasses?” Jinyoung crosses his arms over his chest and sinks into the couch. It’s not that he doesn’t also thinks there’s a chance that Jackson might have some feelings for him but he just doesn’t know if he’s willing to make a fool of himself if he turns out to be wrong.  
  
Plus it’s starting to look like Jackson is the very definition of what he’s been telling himself he shouldn’t fall for. He dedicated an entire step to this specific dilemma in his guide for having a successful love life and everything! Jinyoung frowns, wondering whether or not it’s already too late since he’s fallen head over heals for Jackson.  
  
“Jinyoung, I know you like to be certain about things so you don’t embarrass yourself but don’t you think this is worth taking a chance on?” Mark adds, Bambam nodding while he adjusts his bangs.  
  
“But you saw how he acts when he’s with all his friends, even if we do get together could I trust him?” He casts a look at Mark then Bambam with curious eyes.  
  
“Single Jackson doesn’t have to be the same as Taken Jackson. Plus you’re the one who is always vouching for his wonderful personality, are you seriously thinking he would cheat on you?” Mark raises a brow like he’s lecturing Jinyoung, as if the younger wasn’t feeling guilty enough.  
  
“I just don’t know what he wants,” Jinyoung bites at his bottom lip, the pink flesh dry from his nerves for the past few days.  
  
“You won’t know until you ask him,” Youngjae yells out from his room on the other side of Jinyoung’s apartment. It’s tragic that Jinyoung lives with both Mark and Youngjae yet he still can’t tell when one of them is home or not unless they are all in the same room.  
  
Still, Youngjae is right. Jinyoung knows Youngjae is right.  
  
But he continues not to say anything about it the next time he sees Jackson.

~

  
He keeps beating around the bush, asking Jackson if he’s had serious relationships before.  
  
The thick noodle Jackson was slurping snaps in half as he raises his head too quickly, surprised at the off-topic question from Jinyoung. They don’t talk about relationships much; Jackson had figured that Jinyoung liked some things to remain private so he didn’t bother prying.  
  
“Uhm, Yeah I’ve had a few. You remember Jaebum right? We had a thing going for a few years while I went to University here. That was probably my last really serious relationship though.” Jackson looks to the ceiling as if in deep thought while Jinyoung fights the urge to drop his chopsticks.  
  
His heart hammers in his chest, forcing him to place his eating utensils down with trembling hands before he makes a mess. He thought Jaebum and Jackson had seemed close but he had never expected real feelings to be involved. Now Jinyoung has began doubting what he thought had been cues that Jackson liked him all over again.  
  
“Why did you break up? If you don’t mind me asking” Jinyoung swallows around the lump in his throat, eyes focusing on Jackson’s careful pout.  
  
“I guess it was a lot of things put together, like the distance that would come with me getting an invitation to join China’s national fencing team. Also we would fight a lot about our futures, the dynamic of our relationship. It…just got too much.” It gets quiet as Jinyoung considers what he should say, what would be appropriate.  
  
“We were just too young” Jackson smiles up at Jinyoung, a small laugh falling past his lips. Then he pauses, eyes dancing around Jinyoung’s face, almost caught up in the moment. His lips stretch wider into a grin, like simply seeing Jinyoung makes him happier before he looks back down to his food.  
  
Taking a small piece of meat from his plate he raises it to Jinyoung’s mouth, waiting for him to accept it and then encouraging Jinyoung to eat so his food doesn’t get cold.

~

  
  
No matter how much Jinyoung tries to forget about it, tells himself it’s all in the past and he shouldn’t dwell, he can’t. Not when Jackson wraps an arm around Jaebum’s shoulder the next time they come to the bar. Not when Jackson is laughing and Jaebum has a smile so bright that his eyes are turned to slim crescents.  
  


~

  
  
“Stop moping” Mark nudges him with a toe, eyes focused on the TV so his cart doesn’t fly off the road. Youngjae yells as his player Toad gets pushed off by Mark’s cart and falls into last place.  
  
Jinyoung frowns, he’s not moping. “I’m not moping,” He states just to be clear, glasses slipping down his nose as he returns to his book. He’s got his back to mark and Youngjae who are sitting on the couch so he doesn’t catch their response. He feels Mark’s kick though; his heal digging in right between his shoulder blades.  
  
Jinyoung doesn’t even bother saving his page as he slams the book down to glare at Mark because he knows Youngjae is too much of a puss to actually kick him. Plus he’s an angel. Mark just smirks, popping his gum before saying “You’re totally moping, you’ve reread your entire book collection starting from the tragic romances. That’s never a good sign.”  
  
“Plus you’ve been switching shifts with Mark at the bar so you wouldn’t bump into Jackson. It’s getting kind of childish” Youngjae states, almost bored about the whole dilemma before he sees the miserable look on Jinyoung’s face. “I – I mean, avoiding is cool too? I did that once…in high school…or something” His words trail off as he notices he’s making things worse not better.  
  
“Stop pouting, I’ve been the one who was forced to listen to Jackson drone on about why you weren’t at the bar every day. You know he says you guys have been texting but that you keep blowing him off when he tries to make plans to come see you?”  
  
“Since when do you and Jackson talk?” Jinyoung asks, turning back to his book even though he can’t digest any of the words on the page.  
  
“Since you left your puppy all alone and he attached himself to me. I think we are kinda best friends now.” Mark smiles at Jinyoung’s flustered outrage; it’s kind of cute how jealous he gets over nothing. “That’s why I invited him over tonight, for a game night!”  
  
“WHAT?” Jinyoung’s voice doesn’t register over the doorbell ringing. He tries to scramble off to his room so he can at least put on some more acceptable clothes but Mark locks his legs around Jinyoung’s torso and refuses to let go.  
  
Youngjae can’t do anything but shake his head as he heads off to open their front door.  
  
“I hate you,” Jinyoung whispers, venom in his words.  
  
“Maybe, but I hate seeing my friend upset so you’re going to solve this thing tonight and then I can be at peace.” Mark pats Jinyoung’s hair down at the sides where they were sticking up from his afternoon nap and adjusts his glasses. “There, now you look presentable.”  
  
Jinyoung stares down at his gym shorts and hoodie, screaming internally because this is as far from presentable as one gets.  
  


~

  
  
“So…you guys are roommates huh, why didn’t you tell me?” Jackson nudges Jinyoung’s arm as they sit side by side. Their legs press together on the ground, backs against the bottom of the couch. When Jackson settles an arm on the cushions behind their heads it brushes against Jinyoung’s hair.  
  
Mark laughs as he brings over a few beers from their fridge, “Jinyoung was against it that’s why. He hates to admit that he wasn’t able to get his own place.” Jackson takes a beer from Mark and passes it to Jinyoung before getting one for himself.  
  
They start playing Mario Cart again, with Mark and Youngjae beating Jackson’s ass until he quits and decides to lean closer to Jinyoung to see what he’s reading. The two other boys head for the kitchen using food as an excuse so they could give Jackson and Jinyoung some alone time.  
  
He hums in thought then inclines forward to whisper to Jinyoung, “Why couldn’t you get your own place?”  
  
The warm feeling of Jackson’s breath against his neck is enough to startle Jinyoung into closing his book. He cocks his head away from Jackson so he can look him in the eye before he takes a deep breath in and decides to just go for it. If Jackson wants to play this game, he can too. He’s not one to chicken out of a little harmless flirting. Jinyoung talks against Jackson’s ear, lips brushing against the soft skin of his earlobe. “Mark likes to say it’s because I couldn’t find a place that was both nice and affordable before having to move closer to the bar to start working. But it’s actually because after we decided to buy the place from the previous owner and remodelled a lot of my savings disappeared. Mark kind of saved my ass.”  
  
Jackson’s hand slides down from the couch cushions to rest on Jinyoung’s shoulders. If they are going to play gay chicken, there’s no reason to hold back. Mark nudges Youngjae from the kitchen and they both make the unanimous decision to not witness anything from here on out. They sneak into the closest bedroom to hide until hopefully the two people in the living room stop being such cowards.  
  
Jinyoung shifts under Jackson’s arm, eyes looking down into Jackson’s brown irises with uncertain curiosity. “Jackson,” he mumbles, suddenly a lump forcing its way into his throat. Jinyoung is always straightforward, not afraid to say what he wants so the fact that it is so hard for him to speak about his feelings is enough to baffle him.  
  
Jackson smiles, nodding his head to tell him to continue. Jinyoung brings a hand up from his lap, his fingers soft from the hand cream he’d been applying that afternoon and places it on Jackson’s cheek. He looks between Jackson’s two wide eyes and tells himself to stop worrying about messing up what he has to say; it’s not that hard.  
  
“I like you, a lot” He whispers, Mario cart’s OST playing in the background. Jackson’s face morphs into an expression of surprise, the hand around Jinyoung’s shoulder slipping down to his waist.  
  
“You’re a good friend, I really enjoy your company but I want to be with you even more. I want to make you laugh and I want to kiss you too.” Jinyoung breathes out a laugh at the way Jackson’s face burns pink. “I want to be your boyfriend,” Jinyoung finishes with a groan, the cheesiness of his words catching up with him.  
  
He hears Jackson’s high pitched laugh, eyes bright with mirth right before he covers his face with his hands to hide his shame. “I can’t believe you just said that, you’re so cute,” Jackson teases, voice going falsetto on the last few words. His hand tightens on Jinyoung’s waist, forehead making contact with Jinyoung’s hair.  
  
“Was there any way I could have said no to that? I think not” Jackson reaches out to extract Jinyoung’s hands from his face to pull him into a hug instead. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me for the past month?” Jackson feels Jinyoung nod into his neck before he hears a muffled _maybe_.  
  
“So does this mean we can make out now?” Jackson asks, genuinely intrigued only to be punched in his arm. Jinyoung glares at him from where he’s still tucked in Jackson’s arms. “Is that a no?” Jackson laughs, blocking Jinyoung’s next punch but letting Jinyoung push him down to be tickled.  
  


~

  
  
Jinyoung can’t believe he’s being dragged to the bar even on his night off. Jackson wraps Jinyoung’s arms around his waist and hauls them to the dance floor. The place isn’t packed since it’s a Thursday but there’s still a few people dancing. Jackson pays them no mind and creates a space for himself and Jinyoung, their eyes locked. They stay close together, hands on each other’s hips as they sway to the music.  
  
Jackson is sensual in a way that Jinyoung will never be able to fathom. How someone so adorable and gentle can suddenly switch up on him, grabbing him to pull their bodies closer together is still surprising. Jinyoung almost shies away from the grinding, not wanting to draw attention to themselves but when Jackson looks up at him with his sparkling, sultry eyes and his sexy smile Jinyoung forgets that anyone else is even in the room.  
  
He trails his hands across Jackson’s jaw; thumb brushing his plump bottom lip before he leans down to connect their lips. Kissing Jackson is still the best thing Jinyoung’s had the pleasure of experiencing in the past few months that they started dating. For all their flirting and explicit displays of affection they have yet to travel too far in terms of physical intimacy. Mostly the problem lies in their roommates.  
  
Mark was all for getting Jinyoung and Jackson together but now he doesn’t enjoy coming home to find them making out on their communal couch. Youngjae is always holed up in his room playing his video games and uploading tutorials online while Bambam is shameless about dropping by without notice.  
  
Jackson’s place is also no good since he’s hosting a few boys from the fencing team that he brought over from China who felt more familiar with someone who could speak their language.  
  
Tonight though, Mark is working while Youngjae and Bambam are going to a karaoke bar so Jinyoung has every plan to bring Jackson back to his room. He whispers this to Jackson after they are buzzed from a few drinks, sweat starting to make their clothes stick in uncomfortable places. “Let’s head back?” Jinyoung gives Jackson a meaningful look, lips pink from all the kisses they’d been sharing while on the dance floor.  
  
Jackson doesn’t even hesitate before he starts pulling Jinyoung out to grab a taxi.  
  


~

  
  
They’d talked about this once or twice after a few lazy nights in where they cuddled or kissed while giving each other slow hand jobs to take the edge off. They discussed what they liked in the bedroom, how they preferred to be taken or whether they preferred to be the one giving instead. They came to a quiet resolution to simply do what felt right in the moment since neither one cared much about what position they were in.  
  
When Jinyoung had mentioned BDSM Jackson had looked a little scared but hadn’t been against it. In the end on that night, once they got back from the club hands roaming over each other the moment they got through the door, they decided not to make things too complicated for their first time.  
  
Jackson lets Jinyoung slip his coat of his shoulders as he unzips the younger’s Jacket. Once his arms are free Jackson dips down and grips onto the backs of Jinyoung’s thighs before lifting him up. Jinyoung can’t help laughing, eyes crinkling at the corners as he started kissing Jackson's face. Jinyoung leaves sweet pecks all over his cheeks and forehead as Jackson tries to lead them safely to Jinyoung’s room.  
  
“Come here,” Jinyoung huffs out, fingers tangling in Jackson’s hair so he can pull their faces together. Jackson has to lean Jinyoung’s back up against a wall so he doesn’t trip over anything as he opens his lips so the younger man can lick into his mouth. He squeezes the backs of Jinyoung’s thighs every time the younger sucks on his bottom lip.  
  
Jinyoung moans softly as Jackson presses him further into the wall, fingers twisting in Jackson’s hair once more to break off the kiss. “Bedroom, now” Jinyoung says, words coming out in a breathless pant. His face is flushed just as Jackson’s is, ears burning a deep red.  
  
Once Jackson has them settled on Jinyoung’s mattress the younger pushes at Jackson’s chest and uses his legs, still wrapped around the fencer’s waist to turn them around. Jinyoung sits on Jackson’s hips; fingers splayed across the broad chest beneath him as he looks down at the elder. “You look so good right now,” Jinyoung says, eyes crinkling at the embarrassed smile he gets from Jackson.  
  
He grinds down slowly, hips rubbing in circles over Jackson’s pelvis. Jackson reaches out and brings their lips together again with the grip he has on Jinyoung’s collar. Then his hands cascade down Jinyoung’s sides until he can grip onto the younger’s defined waist. Jinyoung is slim enough that Jackson manages to feel bigger when he’s holding him even though Jinyoung’s taller. Still the younger’s body is muscular underneath all of his fair skin.  
  
Jackson’s fingers graze beneath Jinyoung’s shirt, feeling the rise and fall of ribs beneath his hand. He urges Jinyoung to remove the piece of fabric so he is able to touch with leisure. “I want you inside me,” Jinyoung mutters into his mouth between kisses. “But only if you’re good and don’t come before I’m all prepped.”  
  
Jackson’s eyes widen, a little surprised at how controlling Jinyoung seems to be in bed. He’s not sure he minds it much but he’s anything if not eager and he can’t sit still waiting for instructions. He helps Jinyoung out of his tight jeans, underwear slipped off too along the way. “Turn around,” Jackson says, watching as Jinyoung hesitates on top of him before doing as he says. “Now come here” Jinyoung yelps when Jackson’s hands grip tight onto his hips and pull his ass towards the elder’s face.  
  
He passes back the bottle of lube that he’s been keeping for this specific night since he and Jackson had gotten together, hands trying not to show his nerves. This isn’t even close to being Jinyoung’s first time having sex, yet he isn’t sure why he feels so shaky when Jackson’s thick hands slide to his hips, his back then down to his ass.  
  
Jackson pulls Jinyoung slightly off where he’s sitting on his chest so that he can start stretching him with ease. Jinyoung decides that he’s not going to lose, wanting to rile Jackson up. So he reaches for Jackson’s pants, unzipping the front to pull out his cock. He bowed his back, ducking down to start licking up the sides of Jackson’s semi. Jinyoung heard a deep groan from behind him before there were slick fingers running down the apex of his coccyx, to his perineum.  
  
Jinyoung’s brows furrow at the feeling of Jackson kissing the backs of his thighs, one finger inching into his hole. He tries to focus on taking Jackson’s cock deeper down his throat but he can’t help jumping when fingers wrap around his own hard-on.  
  
“You’re doing so good Jinyoungie, feels really good” Jackson bites the words into Jinyoung’s thick thighs, two fingers now trying to edge further inside of Jinyoung.  
  
The younger male hums, cock twitching in Jackson’s hand at the compliment. It’s no secret that Jinyoung likes to be a perfectionist but his flaws are also his biggest fears. That’s why when Jackson keeps telling him how well he’s doing it starts to build a chain reaction inside Jinyoung. His mouth works wonders around Jackson’s cock while his own starts dripping precum.  
  
Once Jinyoung gives Jackson the go ahead to put in another finger the elder starts scissoring him with fervour. He licks and sucks small patches of Jinyoung’s round porcelain ass cheeks into his mouth while his fingers keep searching for Jinyoung’s prostate. Jinyoung swallows down his cock in return, throat working around the erection.  
  
Jackson has to tell Jinyoung to stop for a moment because he’s afraid he’ll come and he isn’t sure how serious Jinyoung was about not letting him fuck him if he came too early. Jinyoung throws a sly smile over his shoulder and continues to watch Jackson as he tries to calm down.  
  
When Jackson is looking at him again, face red with heat and sweat, he reaches for a condom to pull over Jackson’s dick. He climbs off of Jackson’s chest and instead lies down on his left side. He pulls Jackson in behind him until his chest is flush against Jinyoung’s back. Jackson slicks up his cock with more lube, carefully raising Jinyoung’s right leg so he can get a better angle and then starts pushing into Jinyoung’s tight heat.  
  
Jinyoung muffles his groan into his elbow, Jackson’s forehead resting against the back of his neck. “Move now,” Jinyoung huffs out, reaching out to take the hand Jackson had holding up his leg when he starts getting rocked into. Jackson wraps his arm around Jinyoung’s torso, their fingers intertwining against the younger’s chest.  
  
Jackson whispers encouragements into Jinyoung’s ear from behind, noticing the way the bartender clenches harder around him whenever he gives him compliments on his performance. Jinyoung cranes his neck so he can kiss Jackson over his shoulder, the fast pace of their lovemaking making it hard to keep it going for more than a few open-mouthed pecks at a time.  
  
Jackson grabs at Jinyoung’s knee and sits up so he can settle in between his legs instead and starts to thrust harder. Jinyoung’s toes curl when Jackson’s tip brushes past his prostate when he pushes in, his own erection throbbing against his belly.  
  
He grabs at his own cock and starts tugging at it fast enough that he almost comes right away. Jackson leans down to stare at Jinyoung’s eyes as his hips start going erratic in an attempt to go even faster. “I’m going to come Jinyoungie,” Jackson groans, practically asking for permission.  
  
“Me too,” Jinyoung supplies, his free hand pulling tight at Jackson’s hair strands. The elder gives him one more look, eyes hooded and bottom lip hanging open slick from spit before he comes. Jackson hides his face in Jinyoung’s neck and kisses underneath the younger’s jaw just as he starts coming beneath him.  
  


~

“Wow” Jackson sighs later, once they’re both cozy underneath the covers and Jinyoung has got silk pyjamas on that feel nice over his skin. He’s already starting to feel sore around his thighs and his back but doesn’t regret it one bit.  
  
“What?” Jinyoung mumbles, almost asleep on Jackson’s shoulder.  
  
“I’d been looking forward to that but still…wow, better than my wildest dreams. And my dreams are wild,” Jackson whistles suggestively, smile wide at Jinyoung’s lazy chuckle.  
  
“I’m sure you’ve had great sex often, stop being dramatic” Jinyoung doesn’t realise how bitter the words sound until they leave his tired mouth. He hadn’t thought he was still upset about all the flirting and sleeping around Jackson had done before they got together but since they never discussed it, it must’ve stayed with him.  
  
“Huh? No not really. I didn’t get much time to do stuff like that when I was in training for the Olympics, then afterwards I was in a weird stage where I didn’t know whether I wanted to settle down again or not so I decided not to actively pursue people until I figured that out. The last time I had great sex was probably college…” Jackson peeks at Jinyoung’s gloomy expression and quickly adds “But of course you’ve topped that!”  
  
“You’ve had various partners since you’ve been coming by the bar and you’re telling me none of them were good?” Jinyoung can tell he’s getting angry talking about this subject but he can’t stop himself.  
  
Jackson furrows his brows, lips puckering into a thoughtful pout. “I haven’t slept with anyone since I moved here though, what do you mean?”  
  
Jinyoung balks, “All the girls and boys you took home with you? You’re saying you didn’t have sex with any of them?”  
  
“Of course not!” Jackson exclaims, “They were all very interesting people and are now very good friends of mine.”  
  
“Even that bartender girl?!” Jinyoung sits up in bed, somehow no longer tired. He flinches though when he puts too much pressure on his bruised butt.  
  
“Yeah she only taught me how to make a frozen mudslide! I drove her home and she had all this cool drink mixing equipment. I’ll make you one next time,” Jackson smiles up at Jinyoung, his excitement erasing the previous confusion he had about being accused of sleeping around.  
  
Jinyoung wants to laugh at how badly he managed to misunderstand everything; instead he just slinks back down into Jackson’s awaiting arms. He smiles into his neck when Jackson starts singing him a soft Christmas carol, his eyes crinkling in the corners, and he starts to fall asleep once more.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Me: writing sex scene while Bow chicka wow wow plays in the background  
fic: uhm it's starting to get a little steamy...  
me: /sweats nervously/  
me: writes "apex of his coccyx to his perineum" and exits chat


End file.
